Commodification And The Sale Of Innocence

**Warning: this post contains my opinions, and a rant to go with them. If your family choices are different to ours, please do not hear me judging you. You know what is best for your family, just as I know what is best for mine.**

Every day since the first of December, our family has opened one of our little advent sacks and read the message inside, and have enjoyed completing the Christmassy activity or tasks each day. Yesterday's message read,

There are a lot of movies about Christmas. Today we are going to watch a Christmas movie.

In hindsight, I should have hired a Christmas movie from the video shop. Instead, we checked ahead to see what was showing on free-to-air TV and decided to watch 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' on commercial TV. (Also, in hindsight, I really should have picked a movie that I had seen ahead of time. I found The Grinch to be a little too 'old' for our kids.)

Our kids rarely watch TV, and when they do, the only watch ABC2 or DVDs that we have handpicked. We keep them very sheltered from the media, as far as we can, as we believe that there is plenty of time for them to be bombarded with the messages and pressure of the media and modern society, and their innocence and childhoods are a gift to be treasured, protected and nurtured. 

Last night, I watched my girls watch TV. I watched them take in the ads, the suggestions that they should want this product or that, that this object or that one would make them happy. I watched them watch news headlines, and promotion clips for other TV shows.

I wondered why, in a G-rated family movie at a 7pm timeslot, the channel would feel the need to air news headlines about brawls and murders, complete with confronting images. I wondered why they would advertise M-rated TV shows, complete with clips that I feel were definitely not appropriate for children. Why would I want my young children to see that? If I, as a mother, make the choice to allow my children to watch something that has been deemed appropriate for young children, then shouldn't that child-appropriateness naturally extend to the commercial breaks as well?

Unfortunately, a little research told me that my stance is not shared by the governing bodies in charge of monitoring TV advertising standards and viewing safety. Apparently, it is allowable for TV stations to air promotion of M rated material during G or PG programs in an evening timeslot, as long as the promotional material meets the requirements of the G or PG rating. In other words, as long as the ad doesn't show too much, it's ok. A bit of online searching led me to a complaint made to the Australian Communications and Media Authority about an ad for a M rated show that was aired during an evening sporting telecast, which is legally assumed to be PG rated.The ACMA found in favour of the TV station saying that although the

"promotion does contain depictions of sexual behaviour and references to sexual activity... [it] is considered to be restrained, as the sexual activity is implied rather than explicitly depicted [and is] mild in impact."

Which leads me to question, were the images of a young girl involved in a violent brawl in Northbridge this weekend being roughly thrown into the back of a police van considered to be mild in impact? What about the news voice over detailing the discovery of a body in WA bushland, of a man presumed to be murdered? Even the news is a product to be sold these days - news images are chosen carefully for maximum impact as ratings are ruthlessly sought. Shock and sex sells, and our children are not immune to this.

How about the ads for fast food and alcohol? Should it not be a shared societal responsibility (media included) to protect our children from obesity, poor health and the normalisation of alcohol consumption? What about (and I fear I may not have as many supporters here) the messages that come through in product advertisement? The idea that Christmas is about getting lots of presents, that we should always want more? Or the ad that depicts two men competing with each other over who has the 'best' and 'biggest' camping gear?

Last night's foray into commercial 'family' TV reaffirmed for me the choice we have made to embrace a simpler, more mindful and definitely less commercial Christmas - or, indeed, any other time of the year.

This Week.....

.... we have enjoyed an early family Christmas celebration...

All very busy opening presents.

.... we have celebrated Eden's fifth birthday...

Please forgive me for the paper plates and cups - at least we could compost them afterwards!

Birthday Girl.

Enjoying the very talented face painting by a clever kindy mum.

Eden's tiara birthday cake.

.... we have done some Christmas crafting, by ourselves and with some local friends...

The spice angels we made with our friends.

Christmas cards the kids made with their Grandma.

.... we have coped with the current heatwave by going swimming and relaxing...

.... we have had Grandma over for a stay...

.... we have enjoyed cricket and homemade beer...

Even Brannen has taken his place on the couch to watch the 'kiyet' (cricket)

.... we have done some Christmas cooking...

Gingerbread Christmas tree decorations.

.... we have made some Christmas gifts...

Lined tote bags for the girls to carry their swimming gear to swimming lessons.

My first attempt at a reversible tote with box corners - happy!

 ....receiving my university results. One distinction, and two high distinctions. I am very happy with that. I am changing my course slightly for 2014 onwards, to a double major in Sustainable Development and Community Development. I am slowly hatching ideas and plans for my future 'career' (or not) direction and am very excited about what the next few years may bring.

.... the lead up to Christmas is so exciting! What have you and yours been up to?

Our Family Christmas Rituals

Christmas is such a magical time, I truly love this time of the year. The Christmas story is beautiful and meaningful for even those of us who just loosely align themselves with Christian beliefs. It speaks of the timeless strength of love, the humanness of spirituality and the humility of greatness. Christmas is a time of reflecting on one's journey, drawing inwards as a family unit, yet always offering hospitality and kindness. It is a time of sharing, and celebrating what each of us have to offer our communities.

Establishing Christmas rituals has been something I have very much enjoyed over the years since Nath and I were married, and have had children. We have put a lot of thought into what we would like our children to learn from the rituals we put in place, and what messages we want them to take away from the Christmas period. In recent years, we have become adamant that the commercial face of Christmas is not for us, and have tried to instil a different way of celebrating into our children's experience of Christmas.

We do this in a variety of ways. Our focus is on giving. We don't write Christmas wishlists, we write lists of what we are going to give to others. The kids don't get to peruse catalogues circling every toy they wish they could have. The focus is on how we can make someone else's Christmas that little bit lovelier.

Every year before Christmas, we ask the kids to choose some toys that they would like to give to children whose Christmas may not be as bountiful as ours. We donate these toys to our local women's and children's domestic violence refuge. Our kids choose without much input (sometimes I need to say, no sweetheart, that one is broken/sentimental/not in good enough shape to give as a gift)- it is their choice as to what and how much they give. They know where their gifts are going, and they accompany me to do the drop off. We discuss the traditional story of St Nicholas (a version of this story of the impoverished maidens) and talk about how this links to the modern story of Santa. (Interestingly, even though we have always been very upfront that the 'Santa' of today is not 'real', they cling to this belief in the jolly fat man in the red suit. We have given up and now just go with it. Childhood only lasts so long.)

Another tradition we have is to travel the 55km to the nearest metropolitan train station, then catch the train into Perth CBD to show the kids the Perth City Christmas Lights, the illumination of the old Perth GPO and then go up to the Myer Santaland so the kids can ride the Santa Express train. This year, instead of buying tea, we took a packed picnic and sat in the Government House gardens. We put all our leftovers in a clear plastic container and left it on a bench, hopefully for one of the homeless people who use the gardens as a sleeping place.

 

Of course, a much-loved part of our Christmas ritual is the putting up of the Christmas tree. We did this today, a couple of days early, but I felt it was deserved after we attended our local community Christmas fair with three very tired but very well behaved children. We dress our tree with homemade (mostly kid-made) decorations, and other homemade decorations adorn the room. This year, we set up the absolutely beautiful wooden Nativity Scene that Nath's parents bought the kids from Taiwan when they moved back to Australia, and used it to tell the story of Christmas to the kids. Over the coming weeks, we will have more craft days and make more decorations to put on our tree.

 

Our gift giving focuses on the handmade and secondhand treasures. We usually give the kids two or three presents plus a stocking filled with little things like new toothbrushes, cherries and hair elastics. Christmas gifts are not an extravagant affair in our house. We make batches of hamper foods for gifts for grandparents, teachers and friends, and have a Kris Kringle for Nath's brothers and their wives. We keep it small and personal and very much enjoy thinking about each person we are making or treasure hunting for.

Finally, our last Christmas ritual is to go camping over Christmas. We head down to Margaret River and spend a few days camping, swimming, beach-going and exploring. Christmas Day is quiet, usually a roast on the Webber or prawns and cold meats, and as it's just our family, we kick back and relax and enjoy the day together. When the kids go to bed, Nath and I sit under the stars with a homemade alcoholic eggnog, Nath plays his guitar and we reflect on the year.

I'd love to hear what you and yours do around Christmastime - do you have any treasured rituals? What does Christmas mean in your family? Happy, happy festive season, everybody!

On Contentment.

Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
- Lao Tzu

Happiness is not a goal...it's a by-product of a life well lived.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.

- Socrates

Our day old fresh batch of chicks.

 I've been thinking a lot about life purpose lately. I think it's probably because of one of my units at uni - getting the mind ticking about all kinds of deep things! In one of my lectures it was said that in modern, secular life, people tend to engage in the pursuit of happiness as their ultimate life purpose. I wasn't sure if that resonated with me. Happiness seems so fickle, you think you have it and it slips through your fingers. The pursuit of happiness seems to me to be akin to chasing echoes. You know they are there, but you just can't seem to grasp them. Happiness is fleeting, and dependent on influences outside of ourselves. Things make us happy. Things make us happy.

Lazy summery days in the hammock.

What I seek is contentment. Contentment begins inside of me, it's not a fast, rolling boil of emotions, it is rather like a simmering pot, always warm and ready for a pot of tea. Contentment isn't about what we have, or haven't, it's about enjoying what's there, without feeling we need more. Contentment is about being in tune with our values and beliefs and living accordingly. Contentment is not restless, or dissatisfied, it's calm and strong enough to ride out the harder days secure in the belief that our lives are just as they should be.

Labneh in chilli and herb olive oil.

Lately, I have been feeling so thankful for the life we lead. We don't have much money. We make sacrifices accordingly. But we live well, so well. We love our home, our little family, our community. We love the land that surrounds us, the Earth that sustains us. We love the animals and the gardens that feed us. We love making do, repurposing, breathing new life into old things. We eat like kings and queens, and appreciate the skills we are learning to help support ourselves in the life choices we have made. We live simply, we don't need much, we run out of money nearly every fortnight. But it's fine. We go without. We thrive without.

When Nath finished work, the money question was the one we were asked most often - how will you survive? I will admit, it was the thing we were most nervous about, too. Four months in, though, and I can honestly say that not only are we surviving, we are thriving. We want for nothing. Sure, our holidays are shorter and more local than they have been in the past. Dinners out are fewer, and we tend not to pay for convenience anymore (Can I make it myself?). Do I miss these things? Not really. This life we lead, is the right life for us.

Probably for the first time in my life, I am truly content. It's wonderful, and even bad days are made better with the knowledge that life is just as it is meant to be.  

From Our Kitchen.

A basket of backyard goodness.

I am in the midst of exam preparation, my first exam is on Monday. I have three all up, and will be so relieved to have earned my holidays when they are over. Uni has gone well, I am sitting on a distinction or high distinction in all of my units, but exams may change that! Nath is on uni holidays now (no exams for his course) and he has maintained a high distinction average for his Masters degree, which has him on track to complete it by doing his thesis.

Amid all this study, though, life has a habit of continuing to tick along, regardless of how much we feel we have in the day to get things done. I have been feeling quite overwhelmed with the need to remain 'on top' of everything, and my days have felt not as slow as I would like them to be. My goal for next academic year is to achieve a bit more balance, and this will quite possibly involve actually saying 'no' to a few more things! I've missed having the time to do some of the things I love to do, like cooking and sewing. To be honest, it's probably not so much a lack of time as a lack of prioritising these things which nourish me (Mezz over at Mezz Makes Stuff wrote a post recently on the difference between indulging and nourishing ourselves - worth a read).

Anyway, the past couple of days, despite the mountains of washing, despite the uni notes to be made and the cleaning to be done, I have snuck in a few moments of kitchen time, and thought I'd share some pics with you.

Salad with greens from our backyard, eggs from our chooks and dressing made from homemade yoghurt and homemade chilli sauce.

Potatoes which, having been blanched in vinegar and sprinkled with salt, are ready for dehydrating to make salt and vinegar crisps.

Finished potato chips. Very tasty!

Homemade yoghurt being strained to make labneh which will be marinated in olive oil with a blend of spices.

Two jars of loquat and lemon jam. I was so excited to find loquats at the markets!

Preserved lemons, which will be ready for winter cooking.

For me, it is the times when we are eating and drinking largely from our own produce, spending evenings preserving, fermenting, making, that I feel most connected to the Earth, each other and our family values.

Bees.

I used to be scared of bees. If one flew near me, I would freeze and stop breathing until it had gone. Nowadays I see bees as friends, useful little insect friends with a very important job to do, and I love their presence in our garden. We have a lot of bees here, but the next step for us was installing our own hive, so that we could collect honey from it, another thing that we will no longer have to buy. As we use honey instead of sugar in our family, it seemed like a sensible thing to do.

We've been on the wait list for bees for a few months now, and yesterday, we got the call. So Nath and Brannen drove down the hill to collect our very own bees, a buzzing, humming closed hive of activity. The entrance to the hive was obviously blocked so they wouldn't escape during transit, but you could see their busy little legs and wings in the tiny holes in the hive 'gate', desperately trying to get out.

 Nath placed the hive in our chosen spot, under the grevillea bush in the otherwise unused pool area. It's a great spot - morning sun, afternoon shade, and locked so the kids can't get in. Once we demolish the pool, down the track we'll be able to get a couple more hives and the old pool area will become the bee area! Nath carefully opened the little gate to let the bees out to explore, and in a week or so he will open the hive to make sure the queen is healthy and laying, then we will leave them for a few months to do their thing. We have to get a couple more hive boxes ('supers') so that they can expand and have room to produce lots of honey - for them and us!

I may not be scared of bees anymore (well, not much, anyway!), but the actual beekeeping part is definitely Nath's job!

The beautiful grevillea.

 We are feeling pretty happy with how our garden and home plans are going, as we are well underway to producing a lot of what we eat here at home. It is such a fantastic feeling to be so connected to the food we eat.

A Garden Post

Our little garden pixie, Eden.

It has been a while since I posted on our garden, but as we in in the full swing of Spring, and loving spending these tentatively sunny days ticking things off The Great Gardening To-Do List (which is less like a list than a carousel on full speed) I thought it might be time to share some pics.

We were late planting our winter seeds, and equally as late getting our spring seeds planted, so we are a little behind schedule. That hasn't mattered this year, though, as the temperatures are still quite low and we have had fairly steady rain for all of spring so far. The onions, garlics, leeks, beetroots, silverbeets and beans are all going strong.

We have planted all the citrus trees (a Lemonade, a Meyer lemon, a Kaffir lime, a Tahitian lime, a grapefruit, an orange and a Feijoa - yes, I know, not a citrus!) with an understorey of nasturtiums, chillis and artichokes.

The little kaffir lime tree with an understorey of nasturtium and artichoke.

Beautiful citrus-y blossoms.

The greenhouse is full - little tubes and toilet rolls containing (many, many) tomatoes, chilli, rosella, rockmelon and sunflower seeds.

We have been harvesting our green manure crop of oaten grass before it went to seed and drying it on the fence to become mulch for summer. We have also been trimming down the wattle trees to use their foliage as mulch (as well as feeding some to the goats).

Wattle foliage as garden mulch.

Oat grass drying on the fence.

The apricot trees have flowered and are now in full foliage and beginning to set fruit, so the next task is to net them to avoid losing nearly our whole apricot harvest to the local 28s (like last year).

Chickens fertilising the apricot trees. Behind, you can see the large goat pen.

We are putting in a grape vine near the kitchen window to stop the summer late afternoon sun streaming in. It won't help this year but next year it should be established enough to make a difference. The beauty of a living screen is that, as it is deciduous, it loses its leaves in winter to let all the available sun in.

I counted the other day and we now have 20 fruit trees! That's not bad at all for a half acre block! We should be getting our bees within the next month to help with all that pollinating.

It's three assignments on the agenda for me this week so I daresay I won't be seeing much of the garden until next weekend!